to be hurt and to be loved

it is strange to wrote this topic. i was called by my heart to wrote this since i did not do anything today that can impress myself. so i made a decision to made a landmark for this date. today.

besides myself, i did not have anyone to accompany me most of the time. well, stuff like have a meal together, playing round and messing up with trouble. i am 21 and i did not have that time which is what people call as teenagers. i am far from my family and then i started to involved with a lot of university’s programs. as a result, i gain friend but it is far from the word soul mate, not even a little, not even a bit.

few people regards me with their most sincere heart. when they need me with my experience and specialties, they would call me and left after  they got what they want. it hurts. i am not questioning what i received, but often when u give something, it will be pleasure if people remembers u.

still i eating my lunch with no one besides myself, messing up with trouble and playing around. i get use to that long time ago.n got no offense dear.

but to be loved. it is also strange that i feel the loves around me even i did not see it. i got love from my Allah, n my parents send me their love through phone and bank account (it is a way right?) me too, got loves from my siblings and friends – even it is very few (angel, aizatfikry, daniel..and sorry for not mentioning ur name, yeah, i mean u). it is love though.

i think most of us forgot that love is something that is never enough even u r flooded by love. that is why people always complaining that they are the one who always being left behind. im trying to told myself about that.

but my heart keep rejecting it. oh, i am a human being.